Pastor Dave of South Leamington Mennonite Church is gearing up for his longest sermon yet this upcoming Sunday. “You can’t say I didn’t warn you,” said Pastor Dave, “but those Blue Jays are such an ...

Area man Larry Enns, 51, normally swears off sports completely, but for some reason is really into the Blue Jays this evening. “I’ll be on the edge of my seat,” said Enns. “Rance Mulliniks is playing ...

So, recently I used the word Schekjbenjel and I was shocked to discover there were more than a few readers who were unfamiliar with this term! So, I have decided to make a glossary of frequently used ...

Blue Jays staff have been working overtime getting Rogers Centre in tip top shape for their opening day tilt against the Baltimore Orioles. Most pressing for the staff was cleaning up the hundreds of ...

Winkler, Manitoba, often called the Paris of the Pembina Valley, was the victim of a brazen daytime heist this week after balaclava-donning thieves on dirt bikes took off with Mrs. Reimer’s prized ...

Statistics Canada has just released the results of the 2021 census and there are many startling revelations about the country’s Mennonite population. Let’s have a look! Average Mennonite net worth: 73 ...

In a shocking turn of events, more than 300 million Americans went completely without Thanksgiving dinner this weekend. “There wasn’t even any pumpkin pie,” said Mrs. Eby of Kitchener, Ontario, who ...

Area man Dave Kehler immensely enjoyed his time at the Anabaptism 500 celebrations in Zurich this week, but the pleasant festivities contrasted with the rather unfriendly greeting he received on his ...

Furious at Crown Royal for shutting down a bottling plant in southern Ontario, Premier Doug Ford held a press conference this afternoon where he emptied out an entire Crown Royal bag full of Scrabble ...

Area mom Brittany Klippenstein was so exhausted from her Thanksgiving weekend that she now requires a weekend to recover from the weekend. “Thanks goodness we’ve got another weekend coming up,” said ...

After a series of highly popular rule changes this week, the Canadian Football League has unveiled a brand new logo modelled after Cracker Barrel. “We know how well that worked for them,” said league ...

Mr. David Kehler of Kleefeld was in the big city on a Costco run this afternoon when he stumbled upon a massive crowd that had gathered at Grant Park Mall. “Look at all those people,” said Kehler. “Is ...