Winkler, Manitoba, often called the Paris of the Pembina Valley, was the victim of a brazen daytime heist this week after balaclava-donning thieves on dirt bikes took off with Mrs. Reimer’s prized ...

The White House is fuming this week after the government of Ontario used the image of beloved Family Ties character Alex P. Keaton to promote an anti-tariff message. “Tariffs are a longstanding ...

In a shocking turn of events, more than 300 million Americans went completely without Thanksgiving dinner this weekend. “There wasn’t even any pumpkin pie,” said Mrs. Eby of Kitchener, Ontario, who ...

Area mom Brittany Klippenstein was so exhausted from her Thanksgiving weekend that she now requires a weekend to recover from the weekend. “Thanks goodness we’ve got another weekend coming up,” said ...

Mr. David Kehler of Kleefeld was in the big city on a Costco run this afternoon when he stumbled upon a massive crowd that had gathered at Grant Park Mall. “Look at all those people,” said Kehler. “Is ...

Pastor Dave of South Leamington Mennonite Church is gearing up for his longest sermon yet this upcoming Sunday. “You can’t say I didn’t warn you,” said Pastor Dave, “but those Blue Jays are such an ...

Pop superstar Katy Perry was spotted in what looked like some level of embrace with another former Canadian Prime Minister this week. “I don’t know what came over me,” said Perry. “I guess I just like ...

A trucker’s convoy-worth of sunflower seeds are on their way to Toronto this week to meet the demand of baseball fans in the GTA. “We’re basically just having them dump it in Sankofa Square,” said ...

Area man Jeremy Goerzen, 41, slowed way down on Highway 2 near Balzac this week as he saw what he believed was a cop approaching in the distance. “Oh, jeez, better ease off the gas there a bit, eh, ...

Calling it the “worst photo of all time,” Mennonite satirist Andrew Unger is now suing Time Magazine for the weird low angle shot they used on a recent cover. “I don’t mind being named Menno of the ...

Millions of Mennonites across the United States gathered for what they had heard was going to be a ‘No Krahns’ protest. “It’s about time we sent those Krahns back to Canada,” said Mr. Wiens. “Hey, we ...

Just days after Connor McDavid closed a deal with the Oilers, local youth pastor Collin Martens inked a two-year $25,000 extension with WestEast Edmonton Mennonite Church. “We had to wait and see what ...